Saturday, January 25, 2014

{ Where Have I Been? Vacationing In Sweet, Sweet Denial... }

Grab yourself a warm drink and a snack, this post is a long one!

In life, you have surprises and shockers, this story my friends is a shocker.....
I'm still here, just been surviving the Holiday's and vacationing in Denial all while dealing with one of the BIGGEST SHOCKS of our little ol' lives, that's all....
Oh, you want to know what our SHOCKER was? Here you go.....

Keep scrolling........

Ta Da!!

We were not expecting this AT ALL, WE WERE SO DONE HAVING KIDS!!!
But I guess the big guy with the sense of humor upstairs had other plans for us.

Let me start at the beginning....

Our oldest is 16 and our youngest is 6, so we pretty much figured we were good on the kid front.
No, neither one of us have been permanently fixed and yes we were using birth control. I don't need to hear the "you do know how this happens right?" comments. Yes we know, and apparently from the picture above we are pretty good at it.

I found out I was pregnant on December 5th 2013, the only reason I found out was, I took a pregnancy test as I hadn't had my period for a while. NOTE: I'm a very irregular girl on the monthly front so missing several periods in a row is nothing new to me, and I always had 1 or 2 tests stowed away in case i needed reassurance.
When I saw the 2 lines I swore. I said bad sailor man type of words that I don't normally say ever. I then proceeded to call my husband about 500 times on his cell, but of course he didn't answer as he was on a job site. He eventually called me back and i tried not to freak out on him and cry & basically yell at him. (but i did anyway) Lets just say, December 5th was not a good day for me.

I pretty much cried and cried some more, I only did the crying when I was alone, I stopped talking to my husband and kinda went into shutdown mode, all whilst visiting Denial. Did you know that Denial has great beaches and Condo's?? You see, as a woman and mother to 5 kids already and knowing that you don't want to have anymore, your mind is pretty much set that you are done. We've been well past the baby stage for SEVERAL years now. All my kids would have been in school ALL DAY this next upcoming school year. I've been looking forward to that for 16+ years.

NOTE:  I had already scheduled an appt. for December 10th with my Gynecologist about 2 months prior for my annual lady exam. It had been several years and I was due. 

December 6th: I explained, okay I cried to the secretary on the phone when she called to remind me of my appt. that I needed to add an OB exam along with my Pap/Boob exam. Yes, I started crying on this phone call as well. So she calls me back about an hour later and says the DR. would like me to go to the Hospital and get my blood drawn so they can see about how far along I am. Fine, no problem I go, the DR. calls me back around 8:30 that night to say that I need to keep my appt. & that I'm probably about 5-6 weeks along, maybe a little more.

Fast forward 4 days to December 10th:
Had my Pap, then she goes to feel my stomach, her only words were:
HOLY CRAP! There could be 3 in there, (I told her to shut up. nicely....) we need to do an abdominal ultrasound, about 4 minutes later We found out that I was 16 weeks 4 days along!!!
The date on this ultrasound pic is wrong, it really was the 10th of January.

I've had ZERO, I mean ZERO pregnancy symptoms. I'm usually always nauseated and contracting with braxton hicks from conception on. So to find out we were this far along SHOCKER!! See i told ya..

We didn't say anything to our family or kids for quite some time. I needed time to process and I guess you could say mourn a little bit. Not that a baby is a bad thing, they are quite the opposite; I love each and every one of my kids. But I needed to mourn the fact that what freedom I thought I was going to have with all my kids in school all day was - poof- gone. Mourn the fact that I'm right back at the starting gate, where I did not want to be, we were well established in this more grown up kids phase in our life.
I'm sure some of you see that as selfish, but really I don't care. It's how I felt at the time and you have to let yourself feel those things.

I processed, and processed some more and by Christmas Eve we felt it was time to tell our kids and extended family. We had my parents and Lloyd's parents over to our house for a Christmas Eve "treat". Little did they know what we had up our sleeve... Or my uterus to be exact. :)
We have a tradition of giving Pj's to all our kids on Christmas Eve, so I wrapped up all the kids pj's and then wrapped up just one more box, a box for the Berry Kids to be opened on Christmas Eve.
A box that held the contents of a pack of gender neutral onsies and the above ultrasound picture.

Yes, they were all shocked when they saw the contents, my mom kept saying Oh, Oh! I started to cry
(guess I was still processing) my mom comes over and gives me a hug and the questions start flying with my kids. For the most part they took it pretty well.

Fast Forward 14 days to January 7th: Ultrasound Day
Yup it's a boy! 

Did I secretly want another girl to make it an even 3 boys 3 girls? Sure, but I knew it was a boy and I was right. The whole time we were at the ultrasound I was still in shock and awe that there is a tiny baby growing in my stomach. But there he was and he looked great. Oh and guess what? January 5th I started with my raging braxton hicks contractions. Exactly 1 month to the day I found I was pregnant! I have them EVERY day All day, unless I just lay in bed all day and do nothing, which is real easy to do with 5 kids right?

So I've been collecting baby items as it's been 14 years since I have had a May baby. Parker was born in May and I pretty much got rid of all his clothes as Corbin was a fall/winter baby. So i'm back at square one. Lucky for us we did keep our Crib and I think the changing table is around here somewhere. As for the rest of the baby gear g-o-n-e-!
I have purchased his car seat and crib bedding, and I pick up little onsies and gown sleepers here and there. But I need to get a couple baby carriers and some other essentials. Yeah, you could say we are getting more and more excited around here. One perk of this pregnancy is I've lost 15 lbs and I can still wear my regular jeans and I'm almost 6 months along! I joke that I'm only 2 more pregnancy's away from my goal weight! :) Okay, so it's a terrible joke, but it's what I do in times of stress.....

My sweet 16 year old put it all in perspective for me on Christmas Day. Jentry said: "when this kid graduates from High School I'll be like 34 years old, I could be married with 4 kids by then". Thanks son, now stop doing the math cause your freaking me out. But really, we are getting pretty exciting to meet this new little man in our lives, my due date is May 23rd. I'm sure he will be earlier than that. I've never gone to my due date with any of my kids. One thing's for sure though, this little man of ours- he's going to be loved to pieces.

Life is pretty funny sometimes, it's always amazing to find out your getting something that you never knew you wanted.

and FYI- The pregnancy tests from the Dollar tree? Yeah, they work.....

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  1. I'm right there with you (26 weeks). I was DONE. Sold my crib (I was already pregnant and didn't know it) and my husband had an appointment to make things permanent.
    I cried and cried. I'm not upset about the baby so much as I am starting over- like you, we were in the next phase. We were planning a trip to Disney with no diapers and no naps.
    I know all about feeling conflicted- you know how much you will love the human being but the whole concept is so emotionally overwhelming.

    So congratulations! Even if it wasn't

  2. I hear ya girlfriend!!! I too thought I was finished after my two children were 15 and 13. comes Cooper. But that was 16 years ago and he is the best thing that has ever happened to us. :) There is just something so nice about surprises. You've got a great way with a story, Rachel. I really enjoyed reading about your feelings and reactions. All so true and heartfelt. Thanks for sharing this perspective with us.

  3. Congratulations! I am a mom of six and can relate to your story! Best wishes.
    TIPS: Teach, Inspire, and Prepare Students

  4. Congratulation! A friend of mine ended up pregnant about 9 months after her husband had the (supposedly) permanent fix done, so I can imagine your shock. Good luck to you and your family. :-)

  5. Congratulations! I can sympathize with your unbelief and shock at first. I had several surgeries and many procedures to get pregnant with out first one so you can imagine my surprise when my second baby was born 11 months after the first baby with no medical intervention at all! I'll be looking forward to your future posts as you move on in this new adventure!

  6. Wow! Thanks for sharing your honest feelings. I am glad you are getting excited. Having babies and raising them is hard work.

  7. What the What? Wasn't expecting to hear this news from you. Love your honesty! It would be so hard to see your almost freedom slip away. Congratulations anyways! I'm sure he'll be a great blessing in the end!!!

  8. I laughed at the two pregnancies away from your goal weight. I always joke that I need to go on the pregnancy diet because I end up losing 25lbs at the start and staying sick the entire nine months. Bleh! Honestly, though, so very excited for you all.

  9. I have noticed all your baby boy pins and was getting a little skeptical. Congratulations!! I love your honesty in this post. We need more of that in this world. My husband's older brother is closer to the age of my dad then me....and we all still love each other. What a great, unexpected, exciting, adventure for your family.

  10. I read your post and I started crying...haha....brought back all those feelings I had. I almost had the same happen but my YOUNGEST was 15 almost 16 and my oldest is 22!!! HELLO!!... but I miscarried I was only 10 days over lady time so I took the test it said positive faintly but it was positive! but by two weeks I was back into a cycle with not so nice lady symptoms. But I went through all of those feelings. I enjoyed your honesty. So happy for you and your family. Good luck!

  11. Delighted for you and yours. What an adventure you will enjoy! Lucky, lucky baby boy. :)

  12. So happy for you, no really, so happy! Mimi

  13. I have 5 siblings and my oldest sister and youngest sister are 16 years apart. In spite of the age difference (42 and 26 now), they are really close. :)

    I can also relate to your story as I found out at the end of March I was expecting and after years of difficulties, had decided in Jan that we were done having babies and would just have one child (8 years old). My life was easy, she was in school and now I am reading a blog while nursing my baby boy. :) Oh the unexpected things life brings!

  14. Wow! Rachel that is quite the shock! I appreciate your honest comments and not sugar coating it. I know that feeling of having older kids and just wanting to enjoy that stage without having another baby. Life is funny with it's twists and turns. Heavenly Father is indeed in control and has plans for each of us. Now since you are a bit older and wiser, this may be the sweetest time for you to have another little one. Many blessings to you and your family!
    How very exciting!
    Valerie H.

  15. Congratulations!!! Look at it this way.....another missionary! ;)

  16. CONGRATULATIONS! So Exciting! I know the shock all tooo well... after 8 years of fertility treatment and woes, we gave up and "Surprise" our son decided he'd waited long enough to join our family! Fast forward another 9 joy filled years with said son, get laid off from job, no health insurance, economy in the tank ;) SUPRISE!!!! Baby Boy #2... both our boys are Heaven Sent :) they bring joy to our lives DAILY. Next fall... we will have a Freshman inHigh School and a KINDERGARTENER ;) AWESOME :) PTO here I come... again ... I wish your family an increase in love and happiness... your blessings are abundant!

  17. Love this post and how you surprised your family with the news :-) You're right, he will be loved to pieces!! Congratulations again. I can't wait to meet him.

  18. Congratulations!! I know it was a big maybe not totally appreciated surprise but I was the exact same surprise for my parents. My oldest sister was 16 and my brother was 6 with kids in between. I think I was a pretty great bonus. My father who lived until 83 always said having me kept him young. My oldest sister got to be my god mother. The whole situation turned out pretty neat! It will be great!!

  19. Just thinking of you and hoping all went well and that your baby is safely here and you are heathy, strong and loving life. Looking forward to news.

  20. First off, hope all is well... it's been a while and I'm sure you are VERY busy. Second...I thoroughly enjoyed reading that post. Thanks for the lol's :) Again... hope all is well and you are back, soon!

  21. I follow you on pinterest and when I saw your pins today, I thought, Wow, I haven't seen her pin in a long time. Wait, weren't the last ones baby related. I really enjoyed reading this post! Your personality poured right though. Congratulations on Baby Ledger. And post more often, you are really good at it.


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