Saturday, January 25, 2014

{ Where Have I Been? Vacationing In Sweet, Sweet Denial... }

Grab yourself a warm drink and a snack, this post is a long one!

In life, you have surprises and shockers, this story my friends is a shocker.....
I'm still here, just been surviving all the Holidays and vacationing in Denial all while dealing with one of the BIGGEST SHOCKS of our little ol' lives, that's all...
Oh, you want to know what our SHOCKER was? Here you go.....



Keep scrolling........










Ta Da!!

We were not expecting this AT ALL, WE WERE SO DONE HAVING KIDS!!!
But I guess the big guy with the sense of humor upstairs had other plans for us.

Let me start at the beginning...

Our oldest is 16 and our youngest is 6, so we pretty much figured we were good on the kid front.
No, neither one of us has been permanently fixed and yes we were using 2 types of birth control. I don't need to hear the "You do know how this happens right?" comments. Yes we know, and apparently from the picture above we are pretty good at it.

I found out I was pregnant on December 5th, 2013, the only reason I found out was, I took a pregnancy test as I hadn't had my period for a while. NOTE: I'm a very irregular girl on the monthly front so missing several periods in a row is nothing new to me, and I always had 1 or 2 tests stowed away in case I needed reassurance.
When I saw the 2 lines I swore. I said bad sailor man type of words that I don't normally say ever. I then proceeded to call my husband about 500 times on his cell, but of course, he didn't answer as he was on a job site. He eventually called me back and I tried not to freak out on him and cry & basically yell at him. (but I did anyway) Let's just say, December 5th was not a good day for me.

I pretty much cried and cried some more, I only did the crying when I was alone, I stopped talking to my husband and kinda went into shutdown mode, all whilst visiting Denial. Did you know that Denial has great beaches and Condos?? You see, as a woman and mother to 5 kids already and knowing that you don't want to have anymore, your mind is pretty much set that you are done. We've been well past the baby stage for SEVERAL years now. All my kids would have been in school ALL DAY this next upcoming school year. I've been looking forward to that for 16+ years.

NOTE:  I had already scheduled an appt. for December 10th with my Gynecologist about 2 months prior for my annual lady exam. It had been several years and I was due. 

December 6th: I explained, okay I cried to the secretary on the phone when she called to remind me of my appt. that I needed to add an OB exam along with my Pap/Boob exam. So she calls me back about an hour later and says the DR. would like me to go to the Hospital and get my blood drawn so they can see about how far along I am. Fine, no problem I go, the DR. calls me back around 8:30 that night to say that I need to keep my appt. & that I'm probably about 5-6 weeks along, maybe a little more.

Fast forward 4 days to December 10th:
Had my Pap, then she goes to feel my stomach, her only words were:
HOLY CRAP! There could be 3 in there, (I told her to shut up. nicely....) we need to do an abdominal ultrasound, and about 4 minutes later We found out that I was 16 weeks 4 days along!!!
The date on this ultrasound pic is wrong, it really was the 10th of January.

I've had ZERO, I mean ZERO pregnancy symptoms. I'm usually always nauseated and contracting Braxton hicks from conception on. So to find out we were this far along was a SHOCKER!! 
See I told ya..

We didn't say anything to our family or kids for quite some time. I needed time to process and I guess you could say mourn a little bit. Not that a baby is a bad thing, they are quite the opposite; I love each and every one of my kids. But I needed to mourn the fact that what freedom I thought I was going to have with all my kids in school all day was - poof- gone. Mourn the fact that I'm right back at the starting gate, where I did not want to be, we were well established in this more grown-up kids phase in our life.
I'm sure some of you see that as selfish, but really I don't care. It's how I felt at the time and you have to let yourself feel all the things.

I processed and processed some more and by Christmas Eve we felt it was time to tell our kids and extended family. We had my parents and Lloyd's parents over to our house for a Christmas Eve "treat". Little did they know what we had up our sleeve... Or my uterus to be exact. :)
We have a tradition of giving Pj's to all our kids on Christmas Eve, so I wrapped up all the kid's pj's and then wrapped up just one more box, a box for the Berry Kids to be opened on Christmas Eve.
A box that held the contents of a pack of gender-neutral onesies and the above ultrasound picture.

Yes, they were all shocked when they saw the contents, my mom kept saying Oh, Oh! I started to cry
(guess I was still processing) my mom comes over and gives me a hug and the questions start flying with my kids. For the most part, they took it pretty well.

Fast Forward 14 days to January 7th: Ultrasound Day
Yup, it's a boy! 

Did I secretly want another girl to make it an even 3 boys and 3 girls? Sure, but I knew it was a boy and I was right. The whole time we were at the ultrasound I was still in shock and awe that there is a tiny baby growing in my stomach. But there he was and he looked great. Oh and guess what? January 5th I started with my raging Braxton hicks contractions. Exactly 1 month to the day I found out I was pregnant! I have them EVERY day All day unless I just lay in bed all day and do nothing, which is really easy to do with 5 kids right?

So I've been collecting baby items as it's been 14 years since I've had a May baby. Parker was born in May and I pretty much got rid of all his clothes as Corbin was a fall/winter baby. So I'm back at square one. Lucky for us we did keep our Crib and I think the changing table is around here somewhere. As for the rest of the baby gear g-o-n-e-!
I SO WISH I COULD BE ONE OF THOSE BLOGGER BABY PRODUCT REVIEWERS!!
I have purchased his car seat and crib bedding, and I pick up little onesies and gown sleepers here and there. But I need to get a couple baby carriers and some other essentials. Yeah, you could say we are getting more and more excited around here. One perk of this pregnancy is I've lost 15 lbs and I can still wear my regular jeans and I'm almost 6 months along! I joke that I'm only 2 more pregnancy's away from my goal weight! :) Okay, so it's a terrible joke, but it's what I do in times of stress.....

My sweet 16-year-old put it all in perspective for me on Christmas Day. Jentry said: "When this kid graduates from High School I'll be like 34 years old, I could be married with 4 kids by then". Thanks, son, now stop doing the math cause you're freaking me out. But really, we are getting pretty excited to meet this new little man in our lives, my due date is May 23rd. I'm sure he will be earlier than that. I've never gone to my due date with any of my kids. One thing's for sure though, this little man of ours- he's going to be loved to pieces.

Life is pretty funny sometimes, it's always amazing to find out you're getting something that you never knew you wanted.

and FYI- The pregnancy tests from Dollar Tree? Yeah, they work.....


3 comments:

  1. I'm right there with you (26 weeks). I was DONE. Sold my crib (I was already pregnant and didn't know it) and my husband had an appointment to make things permanent.
    I cried and cried. I'm not upset about the baby so much as I am starting over- like you, we were in the next phase. We were planning a trip to Disney with no diapers and no naps.
    I know all about feeling conflicted- you know how much you will love the human being but the whole concept is so emotionally overwhelming.

    So congratulations! Even if it wasn't

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  2. I hear ya girlfriend!!! I too thought I was finished after my two children were 15 and 13. Then.....SURPRISE.......here comes Cooper. But that was 16 years ago and he is the best thing that has ever happened to us. :) There is just something so nice about surprises. You've got a great way with a story, Rachel. I really enjoyed reading about your feelings and reactions. All so true and heartfelt. Thanks for sharing this perspective with us.

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